"What's Your Date Of Birth?"...

Portfolio piece circa 1976

 Good "date of birth?" Thursday Morning, all bodies.

The other day I was making doctor's appointments over the phone trying to catch up on their subtle penchant for reminding you that you're old.

I actually made two visits this week... I think I'll live!

But, with all the doctors my wife has seen over the past year a telephone call to the wrong office was bound to happen.

"Hello, this is "Abominable Abdominals!" This is Maureen. How can I help you?"

"Hi Maureen, I said. "I'd like to make an appointment for sometime next week." I was advised to check in with the doctor after a few months and with the Covid thing happening, I just never got around to it!"

"Well, are you in pain?, she asked.

"A little bit around my lower jaw."

"Your jaw?" she said, quite amazed.

"Okay, are you a new patient?"

I then went into this rather lengthy explanation of how I switched over to a new dentist because I didn't like how my old dentist was treating my concerns. As I spoke, I could hear her banging away on the keyboard searching for a Ben Benson.

In the middle of my phone explanation, Maureen would try to interrupt me with a few well placed "But!"

"Mr. Benson, I can't find any connection to your name".

"Oh, I said, That's probably because you are looking with the wrong spelling!'

"It's B-e-n-s-E-n".

"I'm sorry, Mr. Bensen. I don't see anyone under that name."

"Well, Maureen, maybe I have the wrong office. I can't really remember the dentist's name. I think it a Cajun or French type name like "Arceneaux, or LeBlanc, or..."

"A DENTIST?

"Sir, we are ""Abominable Abdominals". We perform abdominal surgeries! There are NO dentists here!"

There was a silence on both ends. Then we both busted out laughing.

"Obviously, Maureen, I said, I need another cup of coffee!"

"Can I help you find your lost dentist's office," she offered.

"No, thank you, ma'am. I'm embarrassed enough!"

"I don't really wanna see the dentist that bad anyway ... But thanks for all your help!"

I finally located the name of the dentist but haven't called for a followup. As I told Maureen, I really don't wanna see the dentist

anyway!

First cup!

Copyright 2020/Ben Bensen III

16Karen Kuchar, Carol Hallock and 14 others

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